As I sit here on a Sunday morning, I've been in New Zealand for ten days.  I have to be honest, though, and tell you that I feel like I've been here much longer than that.  I have tried to be positive but I never realized how difficult it would be to make this adjustment especially without Lori and the kids.  I also didn't want people to worry about me here but I want to be honest about how I am feeling.  I had a rough day yesterday as I thought about the school that I am at which is very stressful.  I have been told that this school is nothing like a regular school in New Zealand as the students here are basically allowed to do whatever they want.  I have already been cussed at several times and whenever I ask them to do things they say "nah" and don't do it.  They simply sit around playing on their phones which the teachers are not allowed to take up.  The administration won't help and says that we teachers need "to get them more engaged".  I feel like I have walked straight into a very toxic situation.  Several other teachers have already quit.  I know I have only been there a week but it is easily the worst school I have ever been in.  Since my visa is dependent on this job, if I were to quit, I would have to come home unless I had another job.
   Then, to add to this, I think I am getting homesick, not so much for my home but my family.  Lori and the kids still do not have their visas yet but the paperwork is being sent in today or Monday.  I guess I never realized how much I depend on them for emotional support and comfort.  I have been talking with them through text messages and Skype whenever I can but it's still not the same.
     I will be visiting the church this morning and I think that will help me.  However, the church is 90 minutes away and I have not been able to find a house closer yet.  Perhaps once I am closer to the church I can be more active in it. After all, that is why we wanted to be here.
     I'm sorry to have such a negative post on here but I have really struggled with this much more than I expected.  I'm not sure what God has planned for me and us here but I hope He will show me something soon to give me more hope.  I don't want to let anybody down and I want to do God's will but I think Satan is attacking me with nearly everything he can right now using isolation, stress, and discomfort all to the extremes for me.  I appreciate your prayers for both me and Lori and the kids.  I love all of you who have supported us in this through finances and prayer.

God bless,

Steven